Who’s the Alien in Me? Don’t Ask!

By Sadhogopal Ram


It seems to me that now with each passing day, I am being more edgy and adulterous then the previous one. The air, which I breathe every day, has become more characterless then before and it makes me feel almost nothing.

I wonder if numbness has taken over me.

As if it had isolated it’s most surreal and unfelt emotions especially for me, making me all the more vulnerable. These days no matter what I eat or how much I eat, I find it extremely impossible to suppress the alien glutton, which has appeared as unexpectedly as my girlfriend, who somehow always used storm ‘in’ whenever I used to treat my eyeballs with the "Sutra's-of-Karma" inside my room.

Sometimes I wonder if it REALLY is my room... as the walls are pink, the curtains too, are pink and tragically so is the colour of my lips. Yes, all pink.

The only difference between them (my ex-girlfriend and the much hyped alien glutton) is that... apart from me being plonked by her there actually isn't any.

Ha!

It appears that this alien glutton unlike my ex-girlfriend has no intentions of leaving me and the super consequence of it can be easily spotted in form of my enlarged belly.

My current vital stats read: 42-36-38.

P.S.:- These stats are mine so please do not misinterpret them with that of my GF’s.

So, now worried with the changes taking place inside my head and heart(not to miss the 'Body' part), I decided to do a little soul search and as I dived deep within, I, in a bit unexpected way, bumped into the ever ailing lady, known as Depression, laying on the front bench of my insomniac brain.

One look at her and I was floored. Such was the impact of her goddamn sexy figure that just by ogling at her the boneless part of me started to shiver. My eyeballs turned up-side-down and at that moment I so looked like a clown!

And about depression, I remember quite well what my late-great-father used to say, he often considered it a tool to self examine ourselves so to know how equipped can we be, if forced to face an unfamiliar adversity, as he said, “Depression can cause nor harm neither can it profit the man it laid her eyes on, until and unless we allow it to take over us or we ourselves take over it.”

Honestly speaking, I didn’t understood what exactly he meant by it, at that time, when this depression was as alien to me as now this glutton is. But today his thought is somewhat-clear to me as it is this depression, with which I am now as familiar as I was with my father(that to say is very, very, very and very little), which has, needless to say, taken over me. Arrgh.

And now I am doing things exactly as a man in depression is supposed to do, eating like monkey and sleeping like donkey.

And so please don’t ask-

“So, Sadho, how did you manage to write this article then?”

Because, I won’t be able to explain it to you that it’s not me. It’s the huge He, the one living inside the small me, who is somewhat unaffected from the effect, has written this piece of shit. A bit confusing, right? Well, I said it first...

“Don’t Ask”

A piece of shit article by a ‘piss-full’ man